Stake Conference

Today, I went to stake conference. It featured a direct feed from Salt Lake City with Elder Paul B. Pieper of the First Quorum of the Seventy, Sister Silvia H. Allred, First Counselor in the Relief General Presidency, Presiding Bishop H. David Burton, and Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve. I sat there and listened, and I despair that I will ever feel the spirit that these people feel.

Elder Pieper's talk was pretty innocuous. He was the warm up for the rest. He was followed by Sister Allred. She gave a heartfelt and inspirational talk about the necessity of scripture study and family prayer. She talked with conviction and her own knowledge. She had a sincerity that came through, and she had a palpable love for her audience. I was quite moved by what she said.

Bishop Burton recounted his favorite conference talks over the many years of General Conference at which he has been a General Authority. He picked talks that I wouldn't have, and he quoted authorities that I wouldn't have. I admit, I was letting the fabric of his message get in the way of the message itself. I am puzzled. I sustain the Brethren. I hope only the best for them, but that doesn't mean that I quit thinking, or that I don't question, at times, what they say. That the leaders of the LDS church constantly stress obedience causes me great anguish. Are we that evil and stiff-necked a people?

Finally, Elder Scott talked about honoring women. I was pretty appalled by his message, although I heard women at choir practice who were quite all right with it. Rather than respect women, I think the message should be that we all respect each other. I really don't think that anyone should be on a pedestal of priesthood power or a pedestal of honored womanhood. I don't think it is healthy for the relationships that the sexes have with each other.

Elder Scott talked about modesty of dress. Of course, he only talked about women and girls being modest - not a word about men and boys. He talked about how immodest clothing and behavior incited uncontrollable emotions in younger men. He talked about how when a man sees a nice-looking modestly dressed girl or woman, he should compliment her. He wanted men to support women.

I struggle with my own feminism. It is not a dirty word, and feminism does not "coarsen" women and make them become men, as he said in his talk. Elder Scott, the best way to respect women is to let them be confident of their own abilities and their own purposes. The best way to help men with modesty issues about women is to teach men that they can be stronger than their physical impulses, no matter what girls or women wear or how they behave. Men are not slaves to their emotions, no matter what a General Authority says about that.

Happily, my back was thrown out earlier this week, so I had a convenient distraction when listening became too painful. I expect my leaders to be prophetic, and it really was not present for me today. Our prophets are too small, and the message is too thin. I believe the Brethren want the best for the rest of us, and maybe I was wearing spiritual earplugs, but I came away from the meeting lonely and wanting.